I'm not sure who will be reading this,
but right now, I'm worried about myself.
I feel lost in my deen.
I've lost the sense of peace and comfort in every act of worship I do.
I feel uneasy when I see people who appear to be ‘alim’.
My mind fills with negativity when I look at them,
thinking, “They’re all just wearing masks.”
I don’t believe in them.
Sometimes, I even hate them.
I hate their thoughts—before they even speak.
I hate the way they look at me, even if they’re not actually judging.
And here I am, just being ‘real’ all the time,
telling myself,
“At least I’m real, and they’re fake.”
I try to be content with who I am,
even though deep down, I know they might be judging me while thinking they're just being ‘faithful’.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
Or did I just get affected because of one religious guy I loved before?
Or did I just get affected because of one religious guy I loved before?
